Articles of Faith of Mormon Culture
1. We believe in SUVs and minivans, as the form of transportation, and in knee length shorts, which are always nice, and in multilevel marketing.
2. We believe that Church ball players should be punished for their own fouls, and not for unsportsmanlike aggression.
3. We believe that through bread crumbs, cheese, creamy soups, and rice all casseroles can be saved through obedience to ward cookbooks and creativity in the mixing bowl.
4. We believe that the first layers and ingredients of the dip are: first, beans; second, cheese; third, chopped tomatoes; fourth, the gift of sour cream; fifth, olives; sixth, salsa; seventh, guacamole, that is, if you have it.
5. We believe that a Mormon should have a distinguished or a cute name, that it is appropriate to name a child after a church leader or a historical figure including an ancestor, that alternative spellings and French prefixes only add to a name, and that when referring to the names of General Authorities, middle initials should be a part thereof.
6. We believe in the same wall decor that exists in many Mormon homes, namely, framed family proclamations, vinyl lettering, inspirational word signs, family photos, pictures of temples and Jesus, and so forth.
7. We believe in the gift of the re-gift, Church books, crafts, family photos, baked goods, emergency supply kits, and so forth.
8. We believe in sparkling grape juice so long as it is nonalcoholic; we also believe in bringing root beer and sprite to ward parties.
9. We believe in all that we have scrapbooked, all that we will now scrapbook, and we believe that we will yet scrapbook many great and important things pertaining to our family, friends, pets, and vacations.
10. We believe in the literal mixing of ketchup and mayo and in the generous application of ranch dressing; that CBAs (church-based acronyms) will be used to describe YM/YW, PEC, the Y, NCMO, and CTR; that Mitt Romney will get Mormons to vote for him any time he runs; and, that the Mormons will enjoy reading Twilight and The Work and the Glory.
11. We claim the privilege of trying to identify common acquaintances with any visitor at Church, and allow all other people at Church the same privilege, and let them name drop the names of famous and General Authorities how, where, or what they may.
12. We believe in being subject to scoutmasters, pampered chef hostesses, and the writers of the U.S. News and World Report rankings for professional schools, and in obeying, honoring, and sustaining Glenn Beck.
13. We believe in being above average, good at crafts, optimistic, and being fifteen minutes late everywhere we go. Indeed, we may say that we follow BYU football. We believe rumors about famous people joining the Church, we hope to meet the three Nephites, we have endured many pyramid schemes, and hope to be able to endure all pyramid schemes. If there is anything cheap, free, sold in bulk, or given away when somebody is moving, we seek after these things.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
RELIEF SOCIETY
JUNE 18th
Make an adorable apron!!!
Come sowing! No experience necessary! We will post a supply list soon. The time is 7:00 p.m. until YOU APRON IS DONE :-) Anyone that has a sowing machine and would be fine with bringing it for themselves and other's to use, it would be much appreciated. PLAN ON IT!
Make an adorable apron!!!
Come sowing! No experience necessary! We will post a supply list soon. The time is 7:00 p.m. until YOU APRON IS DONE :-) Anyone that has a sowing machine and would be fine with bringing it for themselves and other's to use, it would be much appreciated. PLAN ON IT!
SUGAR CITY 6TH WARD COOK BOOK
SUGAR CITY 6TH WARD COOKBOOKWho is up for a Ward cookbook! The Relief Society is in the beginning stages of putting together a ward cookbook that we need EVERY ONES help with! Recipes of any and all kind would be much appreciated. Some content ideas are as follows: Beverages, Breakfast, Breads, Soups and Sandwiches, Vegetables, Beans, Pasta, & Rice, Salads, Dressings, Pickles, and Dips, Meats & Main Dishes, Cakes, Pies Candy Cookies, and Desserts, Miscellaneous Recipes, Substitutions and Equivalents, Mixes, Gift Baskets and Jars, Kids, Cleaning Supplies, Quick tips, Making the best out of left overs, Snack Ideas, Healthy Eating, Canning, Dutch Oven, and even some random advice such as "Lord, help me to speak only words of love and kindness today. "For tomorrow, I may have to eat my words." Please respond to this blog posting with everything you would like to share for this exciting cookbook! Any questions or concerns please talk to any of our Relief Society Presidency.
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